When I was able to speak again, I asked, "Whyam I like this?" Why are you like what?" Aunt Joan's soft words came out slowly, as ifthey were being chosen very carefully."Why am I such a freak?"I felt a hand slip under my chin and my head was lifted until I wasfacing Cori's mom. The sadness in her eyes almost started me cryingagain. "Dearheart, who in the world would call you such an awful thing?"I almost said my father, but that wasn't exactly true. He had asked me ifI wanted people thinking I was a freak when he saw me in a dress on myfifth birthday, but that wasn't exactly the same thing as calling me one."Does it really matter if anybody said it? I'm a girl who thinks she's aboy." It took me a second before I realized what I meant to say had comeout backwards. "I mean, I'm a boy who thinks he's a girl."Something that looked like simple, honest confusion crinkled up hereyebrows and forehead. "What makes you say that?" Aunt Joan, you *saw* me naked. You know I got boy parts. I've. Carla was sitting at her dresser putting on some makeup. She'd just finished showering and she was still completely naked. A lit cigarette dangled from her lips and she dragged on it deeply. Although it was late in the day, she hadn't gone to bed until half past four the night before and had slept until close to one."I wish I could go out there like this," Carla said."Carla, don't push it," I said. "You'll either scare him off or get us both into trouble or both."She finally settled on a red Playboy T-shirt. When I asked her about underwear, she shrugged, "Fuck it. This is long enough."The T-shirt barely covered her crotch.As she walked out of the room and I followed, I watched slices of Carla's lower ass-cheeks appear and disappear with each step she took.Carla pretended she couldn't find the remote for the TV and leaned way over to change channels on the TV set."See you guys later," I called from the front door. Carla waved goodbye. The last I saw of her was her legs on full.
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